How to Be Stealth in Frugality

That we live below the poverty line.

At Church:

When we first moved, we went to a church where they knew Dan was going to college and that he worked at Walmart. They put two and two together and started trying to give us stuff. Someone even bought us a turkey at Thanksgiving. Turkeys were $0.39 per pound at Thanksgiving. I was trying to convince Dan that we should buy two. We did not need a turkey given to us. We didnt feel that we could fellowship as brethren if they couldnt get past this difference. We know they were just trying to help, but it wasnt a big deal to us that we werent wealthy; it was a big deal to them.

The church we go to now we found through some of Dans coworkers. There are several other Walmart workers there and they are pro stay-at-home mom. We dont feel poor there because its not an issue. Some people may have put two and two together, but its not an issue.

If we have someone over, and I make them a meal, do you know that they think? They think Im some sort of gourmet cook, making everything from scratch. I wont generally spout the price per pound of flour verses tortillas, but if they are interested, I might share how easy the recipe is. They think my husband is lucky to be cooked for.

On the Streets:

People who see us on the streets dont know were "poor". We have a nice car, in good shape. I think its real pretty, too.

We dont leave the house looking dirty and everyone has normal looking clothes, even name brand clothes.

Our Family Knows:

They know Walmart isnt the best job around. Without going into too much family dynamics, we get a mixed reaction about our situation.

Dans family is poor. Dan grew up poor. They dont expect us not to be poor. Theyre not frugal though. Its interesting to see people who are poor, but choose not to be frugal. They dont have debt, they just spend all that they make when they really dont need to.

My fathers family is poor, although academically accomplished. My dad and uncle went to Oxford; my aunt went to Cambridge. They dont see wealth as a sign of accomplishment, but are more interested in discussing world political leaders with Dan. They are content in their lower income, as we are in ours, and are pleased with how my life is turning out in general. They are the ideal for us in many areas, much to my mothers chagrin.

My mothers family is wealthy. When I got married, my mom told me to reconsider, that being poor is only romantic for so long. She does not approve of my lifestyle, but has softened and likes Dan a little bit more than she once did.

Her parents are a little more supportive, as they were poor when they started out. They think that being poor is a stepping stone for wealth, and assume that that is what we are seeking after. They think Dan will be getting a salary comparable to the pastor that their church employs in Cape Cod, which is a wealthier area in Massachusetts.

Who reads my blog?

My father reads it, and Ive told my aunt and step-mom about it. I told one brother who comes to see pictures of the kids and agrees with my ideals. Ive told a few friends from our home church, but Im not sure they read it. I think my older sister would like it, but she just had a baby, is going to school and works full time, so a lot of the ideas may not work for her.

No one on my mothers side and no one on my husbands side of the family knows this blog exists. Were close with my husbands family, but I dont think theyd like to see some of the criticism for this blog. I think theyd worry about me and I dont want them worried. I think my mothers family may actually be offended, as a lot of what I say here is an affront to their more affluent lifestyle, but maybe not.

How do others feel about your frugality? Or if you live below the poverty line, how do people respond to that?

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